Dear Mommy,

I find it interesting that the moment you become a parent people instantly ask you when you are having another one.

I gave birth to my daughter at the age of 20 and by the time she was a year old I got many reactions/questions. “You and your spouse make beautiful children, you should make more!” “Your daughter just turned a year? Don’t you think it is time to have another one.”? So it began and each year the questions continued. If my daughter turned three she was getting to old and at the age of 7? Forget it, now her and her future sibling will never have a bond.

Do I want more children? Absolutely! Since I was a little girl playing with dolls I dreamt of being a mother and having a huge family. I still strive to have three children. Yes, I said it!

The thing is the moment I became a mother is the moment I realized responsibility is real. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe you will ever financially have the money to raise children. Your child will always have clothes on their back, food in their belly, and a roof over their head. Some way, some how, as a parent you will find a way to provide for them. What scares me the most is mentally.

Between school, work, my daughter, and life in general I find that it can be tiring. Some days I want to cry..at times I do. Yes, double, triple, Mommy’s out there I understand I am speaking as a mother of an only child. Yet, having a child young and still trying to provide, not having your own space, just showed me I am not ready for another kid. No, not yet.

I have a husband, I have a beautiful daughter, and I have a good job – for now. I have what I need. Why do I need to add another without getting what I need for the future first?! People don’t think of others situations without pushing you to have more.

I am going to stop on the whole gibberish that I Just blabbed. Let’s get to the point.

Yesterday, my 7-year old, adorable daughter came home with these notes. I know weeks ago she half mentioned letters she was writing me in school. I figured it was some project that she had to do that would go something like this. “Mommy, I love you. You are my best friend and I thank you for all that you do.” No, I am being serious only because she always writes me cute notes like this. Let’s be honest she is my best friend!

img_9835Not this time, nope.

This time, I got these. Her cute little hands approached me while typing my paper for my own personal schoolwork; very quietly might I add. She then says while flipping the paper upside down, “No rush. Take your time reading them.” Really?

Of course, I stopped what I was doing and read. Well, I died laughing.

I know she wants a brother (even when we stressed that she may have a sister). I know that this is important to her. I know she sees kids at school with siblings. I get it! I really, really do! I come from three children all of which I am the middle. Therefore, I am the first to understand the importance of having siblings. I also understand because mommy herself so dearly wants another baby too!

However, all to easily said baby girl. If it were that easy people would have kids everyday. Take into consideration the ones who struggle, the ones who deserve and want a child, and well the ones who just have them because they can. I want to do it correct, all hopes it works. I want to have a child in the right home with enough space, good paying job, and well when my mind isn’t running on E. I know that will never stop but wishful thinking! Seriously, I wish I could make having a baby and the urge for one as easy as a 7-year old mind.

These letters hit me close. I will be 100% honest. But, I also laugh, and, laughed. Baby, you have a better chance getting another Guinea Pig at the moment.

 

P.S. one day (sooner than later) you will get that ‘brother’ orrrrr ‘sister’ I promise! I really promise from the bottom of my heart! If everything works in our favor you will have one. Just now is not the time my love. Right now Mommy and Daddy cherish every only child moment we have with you. Trust me, when that sibling comes, you will be wishing you can rewind back to these moments. Even when they seem boring and unfair.

 

 

Xoxo.

 


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